One of the enduring pleasures of life (and a key component to the message of Katie Up and Down The Hall) is the phenomenon of intergenerational relationships.

My best friend and mentor down the hall, the heroine of my book, PEARL

The Ebullient Bud

I can tell you that nothing beats the friendships I’ve had with people older than me–wise souls who have been my mentors, confidantes, companions, and best friends. The value, comfort, and enjoyment found in such friendships can forever change your life.

Bud and Kim at their Ct. wedding, 9/19/09, a very MODERN thing to for an octogenarian

My charismatic grandmother, Essie, with the star of my book, Katie

I was incredibly close to my maternal grandmother, Essie,

Together with my grandmother, Essie, at my Horowitz booksigning

who is featured in the KATIE book; and in keeping with the theme that “a family is anything you want it to be,” I was equally close to the heroine of my book, Pearl, who was Katie’s devoted keeper and my down the hall comrade-in-arms for 16 years.

Pearl with Katie, Ryan, and Me

And although forty years separated us, I felt as if we were complete contemporaries, able to talk about anything and everything, exchanging ideas and experiences bringing us ever closer.

I’ve been equally blessed to have in my life many other sages, my current all-time favorite being my 88-year-old friend Bud–who I always call “the youngest friend I know” in terms of his spirit, vim, and all-important vigor.

You won’t find anyone with more optimism, enjoyment for life, or a calendar filled with more social engagements.

Intelligent, quick-witted, well-informed, Bud is featured in KATIE in a cameo role, as he was one of Pearl’s friends who shared with her a love of the Broadway theater. In fact, Bud loved it when Pearl would bring over her vintage collection of Broadway programs, reminiscing about productions dating back to the 1920’s and 30’s. (Pearl would shoo Katie away when she tried to “peruse” one with her teeth.)

“It was great meeting someone even older than me who could present something from the past,” Bud reflected, “and we always played a little

My favorite picture of Bud and me taken on “his” bench in Central Park

quiz about our favorite shows.” Indeed.

Nowadays, whether Bud is out on the town–backstage greeting his longtime friend, Broadway great Elaine Stritch, having a brunch with Tony Bennett, lunching with Liza Minelli, or savoring Sunday brunches at the Algonquin Hotel–where his close friend, brilliant pianist Barbara Carroll performs each week–Bud is a unique figure in New York cafe society, and a wonderful friend to me.

I begin nearly every morning with a phone conversation with him–drawing from his unbeatable perspective and wisdom. I know that when I ask his advice about something–I’m going to get a great answer. And more than anything, he’s just fun to talk to!

A retired fashion executive typically dapper in a snappy bow-tie, this octogenarian is consumed by his passions,  traveling to London, taking three cruises per year, devouring baseball and tennis, art and music.

I sometimes wonder where he gets all the energy, high spirits, and overall happiness–which is why, a few years ago, I interviewed him for FAMILY CIRCLE. In that interview, he confides that although he has faced divorce, alcoholism, and a bout with cancer, (maybe because of it all), he has honed a sense of  contentment, an uncomplaining nature, that makes him a magnet to anyone needing a lift.

The photogenic Bud

Here’s what he told the magazine:

“Keeping my attitude ‘up’ is from training! It’s something I learned at an early age from my mother, a very practical, grateful woman, who lived to be 97. Neither she,nor my father, who was an extreme optimist, would tolerate much complaining. So I wasn’t brought up with pessimism or a lot of whining. For me, I find that happiness is being surrounded by people with a positive outlook, which helps exorcise the demons that can bring anybody down–resentment, anger, guilt, or shame. To maintain my equilibrium, those demons must not be encouraged. I actually police them, don’t allow them to penetrate my soul.

One of many birthday parties held at my apartment

“When I’m beginning to feel negative, I automatically ‘switch channels’ and turn to my builder-upper friends with positive vibes. Wherever I go, I’ve got my eyes open for a dose of smiles. Just yesterday I saw a baby on the street who was beaming up at me from her carriage. It was just as if I was getting a huge dose of positive thinking from this smiling infant,  who had no clue what happened yesterday, no regrets or worries like we do. I recognized that this 7-month year old had a better key to life than we do when we’re riddled with toxic emotions that stand in the way of letting us appreciate what God’s given us.

“In order for me to be happy, I pragmatically maximize on what is actually available. Happiness depends on having realistic objectives in life. I don’t set myself up for disappointment. I feel grateful for what I have and don’t pine for what I don’t have. I have a lot of younger friends who keep me vital and energized. That’s key. I have my companion, Kim, the foundation of my happiness. He is pure giving, unconditional generosity, loyalty, an unbelievable spirit–a person with real empathy who provides support without guile.

“I also have a very close relationship with my son and my 27-year-old grandson, Jason, a really talented guitarist who is following his passion. We e-mail each other regularly, discussing music and his future. I have an I-Mac computer and it’s fantastic being online. It’s a great way of communicating, finding out information, and organizing things. I have a rent-controlled apartment  I’ve been living in for 47 years and I’m grateful for it.

“What else makes me happy? I’ve volunteered on an AIDS hotline for 12 1/2 years and it’s important to feel I’ve positively affected somebody’s life. I love the Yankees and know every batting average, and which players are being traded. I’ve been going to the Broadway theatre for 65 years–and  get absolute joy from it. I feel blessed that I live in a city where I can’t get enough of it.

“I also have a passion for travel and pride myself on doing it reasonably. I go on cruises, trips to London for more theater, and, since I turned 78, have taken art tours. I’ve recently learned about 18th-century French art and Dutch painting, and feel more passionate about it than when I was in college.

“All this keeps my mind churning and learning. I focus on people, places, and things that feed my self-esteem. I’m living the life I’ve always dreamed about. Sure, I’m human and I have mood swings–life isn’t ‘Cinderella.’ But you can learn to focus on the positive. I turn to flowers, to Central Park, to a song that recalls a happy moment, to meditating, praying.

“I don’t feel 88. I feel GOOD! So the chronological number doesn’t matter to me. I handle loss realistically. When my contemporaries get sick or pass away, sure it’s sad.  But I’m still functioning and can’t let it get me down. It’s just another sign to maximize on today, to make every minute count. . Everybody has more gifts than defects, and the secret of happiness is maximizing on them. Lose yourself in your passion. Give music, reading, walking, exercising,recalling happy days a chance. Feel lucky. I do. In fact, the luckiest thing is that I’m NOT a victim of my expectations. The horizon you imagine is always within your reach.

On a recent Carribean cruise, reading an advance galley of Katie

In short, Bud epitomizes the definition of happiness, as Deepak Chopra described it to me in the same magazine article:

“Happiness,” Chopra believes, “is having a sense of wonder at being alive. It’s being grateful for what you have, having a task at hand that you wish to do, knowing what your purpose in life is, and the willingness to accept challenges and ultimately accept and embrace the mystery of our existence.”

That’s Bud!

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"The Kid"

Although my astutely-intelligent cocker spaniel is the star of KATIE UP AND DOWN THE HALL— equally cute (as any dog!) is one of the book’s other main characters—an adorable boy named Ryan. We nicknamed him “The Kid,” and, together with his Dad, John, they were our neighbors down the hall, along with octogenarians Pearl and Arthur.

When I first met Ryan, he was a rambunctious three-year-old, incredibly cute as he whirled around and around with Katie, outfitted in a Mickey Mouse T-shirt, blue corduroy pants, and black-and-white sneakers (with blinking red lights that illuminated when he ran.) He reminded me of Dennis the Menace—a boy filled with high spirits and mischievous plans.

Over the years, Katie and Ryan grew up together—from their puppyish years to adolescence—becoming lifelong friends.

A Boy And A Dog, bonded for life

Ryan furiously raced my dog up and down our 120-foot red-carpeted hallway until they were both breathlessly exhausted. I set them up at an imaginary starting line for hallway races, and Ryan would always attempt to outrun Katie, but she slyly cheated by jumping the line. “Not fair!” Ryan would holler,  both of them lining up again. In quieter moments, Ryan would giggle for hours chasing my dog, cuddling in bed with her, taking bubble baths with her, feeding her bagels and crackers, introducing her to his friends, and, at night, falling peacefully asleep against her, Katie’s paws placed protectively on his chest.

Ryan's Dad John and Katie the first year we met

Ryan’s father, John, a single Dad who worked for a major metropolian newspaper, often needed help babysitting Ryan—and we were only too happy to pitch in. In fact, this little boy became the light of our lives—a surrogate grandson to the matriarch of the family, Pearl, and a little brother to me. He raced in and out of our apartments constantly, dragging along his stuffed animals, games, puzzles, finger paints, Game Boy, and soccer balls.

The Famous Hallway shot that appeared in Family Circle magazine

Most poignant to me was watching the evolution of his relationship  to Pearl, who had never been able to have children of her own. So at last, in her 80’s, she had finally found a child who needed her. She whipped up the greatest dinners, spoiling Ryan with her famous chocolate pie. She was Ryan’s grandmother. She truly was. And Ryan, who had no grandmother of his own, reveled in his closeness to Pearl, and would wrap his arms around her, hugging her close. It made me happy to see how much Pearl was reinvigorated by the closeness to Ryan and by her new responsibility.

If you want to read all about Pearl’s relationship to Ryan, and Ryan’s to Katie, don’t miss a chapter in the book titled: “Ready, Set, Go!”  Here’s a little excerpt of it:

“This twosome, seventy-eight years apart, could be heard giggling for hours at Pearl’s dining table as they talked about school and played cards together. “Granny really knows how to play,” Ryan told John, “and she usually beats me.”

Sometimes I’d find them finger-painting at the table or putting together a model airplane. Ryan was also interested in Pearl’s collection of old vinyl LP’s. “Choose one,” she’d smile, and a few minutes later I’d find them singing and dancing together to Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin, or to the soundtrack of  “My Fair Lady.”

At Halloween, Granny surprised Ryan by wearing a monster mask when he trick-or-treated at her door.

At Thanksgiving, she stuffed him with turkey.

Ryan and "Daddy John"

At Chrismas, she reached up to the top of the tree to position the star.

And on his birthday, she helped blow out that last stubborn candle, wiping choclate off his face.

The eternal love of grandmother and grandson

But nothing lasts forever, nothing except the enduring bond of family, that can never be truly broken apart, even by inevitable separations, for the lovely relationship between Katie, Ryan, John, Pearl, and me, is something we’ll never forget. I’ll bring you up to date on Ryan next time!

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For any New Yorker who wants to catch a glimpse of the incomparable MARY TYLER MOORE, don’t miss her Times Square appearance this Saturday at Broadway Barks–the annual dog-and-cat adoptathon she co-founded in 1999 with fellow dog lover and Broadway legend Bernadette Peters.

Now in its 12th season, Broadway Barks is a star-studded event held by Broadway actors in Shubert Alley, benefiting over twenty New York animal shelters, rescue services, and adoption agencies.You won’t believe how many adorable cats and dogs will be strutting their stuff on The Great White Way, as we all have the chance to take into our hearts these abandoned animals who so desperately need a home.

The festivities will begin at 3:30 PM; celebrity presentations of pets from citywide animal shelters will take place between 5:30-6:30 PM. Among those currently scheduled to take part in the latter are Brooke Adams, Kevin Chamberlin, Katie Finneran, Montego Glover, Tony Goldwyn, Ruthie Henshall, Hunter Ryan Herdlicka, Beth Leavel, Judy McLane, Michael Mastro, Jan Maxwell, Tony Shalhoub, Richard Thomas and Ace Young. Proceeds from the auction and other donations received during the day will benefit the shelters and organizations attending Broadway Barks 12.

As everyone knows, Mary (the winner of 7 Emmys and 3 Golden Globes and a beloved entertainment icon beyond compare) is also a passionate animal adoption and rescue advocate, who has worked tirelessly to help all pets who desperately need a brand new start. One of her great goals is to make New York City a no-kill city and to promote adopting animals from shelters.

“According to recent statistics, we learned that we are making a difference,” Mary recently said. “In 2002, the rate of euthanasia among shelter animals was at 74% of total intake. . We are proud that as a result of our efforts, in 2008, the number of animals euthanized in NYC shelters has dropped to 33% of total intake. That means nearly 18,000 fewer animals have been euthanized in our city’s shelters compared to 2003.”

In addition, Mary, who has devoted more and more of her time to helping others, is also the International Chairman of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation International. In this role, she has used her fame to help raise funds and raise awareness of diabetes mellitus type 1.

In 2007, in honor of Moore’s dedication to the Foundation, JDRF created the “Forever Moore” research initiative which will support JDRF’s Academic Research and Development and JDRF’s Clinical Development Program. The program works on translating basic research advances into new treatments and technologies for those living with type 1 diabetes.

On a personal note, I loved meeting Mary when I first interviewed her for Family Circle–a chat in her lovely apartment overlooking Central Park, as she talked candidly about the ups and downs of life, her perspective on fame and acting, all the while, wise and warm. And a few years after that interview, she appeared in my Turning Point book, talking about how she accidentally (and fortuitously) met her husband, Dr. Robert Levine, on a night when her mother was treated by him in New York hospital.

As I reflect on all of Mary’s superlative performances on TV and in motion pictures, it occurs to me that, aside from talent and technique, one of the keys to her great success has been her huge heart and likeability–both of which draw you to her like a magnet.

And off-stage, she has been equally giving, caring for those who most need her help, including an army of grateful dogs, all with wagging tails.

Mary and her husband, Robert Levine

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As the reigning queen of American musical theater–and one of the nation’s leading supporters of animal rescue and adoption–the great BERNADETTE PETERS is having a “hot” month, exercising two of her greatest passions in a tour de force of talent and heart.

First, she’s coming back to Broadway on July 13th, starring at the Walter Kerr Theater in Stephen Sondheim’s A Little Night Music (replacing Catherine Zeta-Jones as the character Desiree Armfeldt, while the great Elaine Stritch will play her sharp-tongued mother, replacing Angela Lansbury.) This eagerly-awaited performance is going to inject new life into the show, as Bernadette is the undisputed master of Sondheim’s complex style and spirit.

And while she’s buffing this resplendent performance to a high sheen–this Saturday afternoon she’s also appearing at Broadway Barks–the annual dog-and-cat adoptathon she co-founded in 1999 with fellow dog lover and TV-and-motion picture icon Mary Tyler Moore.

Now in its 12th season, this is a star-studded event held by Broadway actors in Shubert Alley, benefiting over twenty New York animal shelters, rescue services, and adoption agencies.

You won’t believe how many adorable cats and dogs will be strutting their stuff on The Great White Way, as we all have the chance to take into our hearts and homes these abandoned animals who desperately need a brand new start.

And while you’re adopting one of them as your own–you can catch a glimpse of two American legends–Bernadette and Mary, in addition to such other stars as Kelsey Grammer, Tony Shaloub and Sean Hayes.Proceeds from the auction and other donations received during the day will benefit the shelters and organizations attending Broadway Barks 12.

To support Broadway Barks, Peters has written two children’s books, the first is about a scrappy dog, named after her dog Kramer, and the pleasure of adopting a pet. Titled Broadway Barks, the book is published by Blue Apple Books (2008). Peters wrote the words and music to a lullaby, titled “Kramer’s Song”, which is included on a CD in the book. The book reached #5 on The New York Times Children’s Best Sellers: Picture Books list for the week of June 8, 2008.

Her second children’s book is the story of a pit bull Stella, named after Peters’ pit bull. The character would rather be a pig ballerina, but she learns to accept herself. Titled Stella is a Star, the book includes a CD with an original song written and performed by Peters and was released in April 2010 by Blue Apple Books. According to Publisher’s Weekly, “Turning the pages to Peters’spirited narration, which is provided in an accompanying CD, makes for a more rewarding reading experience. The story and disc end with a sneakily affecting self-esteem anthem, which, like the familiar tale itself, is buoyed by the author’s lovely vocals.”

For those who don’t know, busy Bernadette, over the course of a career that has already spanned five decades, has starred in  musical theater, films, and television, as well as performing in solo concerts and recordings. For her Broadway performances, she has received nominations for seven Tony Awards, winning two, and eight Drama Desk Awards, winning three. Nobody can forget her indelible performances in Sunday in the Park with George, Into the Woods, Annie Get Your Gun, and Gypsy. And nobody will ever forget all the charitable work she’s doing, not only for Broadway Barks, but for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS as well.

In short, there’s a reason why Bernadette Peters delivers virtuosic performances that are passionate and heartfelt–she is someone who cares deeply and this, more than anything, is the secret of her success.

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